Several blogs back, I blogged about the song "Defying Gravity", because I find it very uplifting and motivational. There are many other songs that carry meaning for me in my transition. I've decided to start sharing the songs that mean the most to me here.
The first song I absolutely must mention is "What If?" by Emilie Autumn. To me it expresses the emotions of feeling captive in a relationship ruled by guilt and unfair expectations.
I sing this song in the shower almost every day. Lately it has come to my attention when visiting friends, that I actually sing loud enough to be heard, so my parents have probably heard this hundreds of times. LOL!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
What if
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Written By: Emilie Autumn
Lyrics as heard by: Me :P
Here you sit in your high back chair.
I wonder how the view is from there?
I wouldn't know because I like to sit,
upon the floor, yes upon the floor.
If you like we can play a game.
Lets pretend that we are the same.
You will have to look much closer,
than you do, closer than you do.
I'm far too tired to stay here anymore,
and I don't care what you think anyway.
I think you were wrong about me.
Well what if you were, what if you were?
What if I'm a snow storm burning?
What if I'm a world un-turning?
What if I'm an ocean far too shallow, much to deep?
What if I'm the kindest demon,
something you may not believe in?
What if I'm a siren singing gentlemen to sleep?
I know you've got me figured out.
Tell me what I'm all about,
and I just might learn a thing or two,
maybe about you, maybe about you.
I'm at the end of your telescope,
but I won't change just to suit your vision.
I am bound by a fraying rope,
around my hands, tied around my hands.
You close your eyes when I say I'm breaking free,
and you put your hands over both your ears,
because you can not stand to believe I'm not,
the perfect girl you thought.
Well what have I got to lose.
What if I'm a weeping willow,
laughing teers upon my pillow?
What if I'm a socialite who wants to be alone?
What if I'm a toothless leopard?
What if I'm a sheep-less shepherd?
What if I'm an angel without wings to take me home?
You don't know me.
You never will, you never will.
I'm outside your picture frame,
and the glass is breaking now.
You won't see me.
You never will, you never will.
No, if you're never going to see.
What if I'm a crowded desert?
Too much pain with little pleasure?
What if I'm the nicest place, you never want to go?
What if I don't know who I am?
Will that keep us both from trying,
to find out? When you have,
be sure to let me know.
What if I'm a snow storm burning?
What if I'm a world un-turning?
What if I'm an ocean far too shallow, much to deep?
What if I'm the kindest demon,
something you may not believe in?
What if I'm a siren singing gentlemen to sleep?
Saturday, January 30, 2010
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3 comments:
Hi, Shan! Seeing this sent me back to our earliest correspondence, as I remembered that you shared this song with me some 18 months ago. Once I started reading our old emails, I found that I didn't want to stop! Geez, what happened to those crazy kids we were a year and a half ago? Back when I was a mere 44... Those were the days.
You're the best, girlfriend.
A year and a half ago. Doesn't it feel so much farther away than that? I think it has been the most eventful one and a half years in my life ever.
I love that style of communication; exchanging fairly lengthy emails. It seems to me that conversations tend to delve deeper in that format than instant messaging for some reason.
Well, you already know how I feel about Emilie Autumn, but I do think this this song is very appropriate for you.
It's a shame we didn't catch Avatar. We'll be sure to get it when it comes out on DVD.
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