Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Transgender: Perhaps Not Such a Curse

I was chatting with a friend online today and something occurred to me that I have thought about several times in the past. While chatting about the thought, I realized it would be interesting to elaborate on it as a blog.

The basic idea is that if I had been born the proper sex, my life might would have been easier, but that I would have missed a lot of lessons that have shaped who I am in a positive way. 

For instance, when I was a child, I was not very inquisitive. I was very eager to accept what I was told at face value. Coming to terms with my gender issues has showed me how terrible it is not to question. It has left me with a deeper understanding of the world around me and a willingness to question instead of feeling uncomfortable challenging religious and spiritual topics.

Feeling others judge me has shown me how hurtful and destructive it is to assume you know what is right and wrong for someone else. 

I have a natural tendency toward vanity, and having to live so completely dissatisfied with my body has taught me humility and to not dwell on aesthetics.

Basically, growing up and living transgendered has made me an accepting, empathetic, inquisitive person, not afraid to challenge the norm. 

As I told my friend this morning. I am not a man, I am a woman. But I was meant to experience this to become who I am. I am who I am meant to be, but I am not yet who I am meant to become.

Well, that's not precisely what I said, but close enough! Anyway, I don't like to mope about being transgender. I can still make my life whatever I want it to be, and I will be accepted as female in time. Until then I'll not think of it as a curse, but as a challenge I was meant to overcome. 

I was hearing about someone the other day with sickle cell anemia. He has never expected himself to live into his 40s. Yet he had the discipline to finish school, has been a productive member of society and has always been a pleasant guy to be around. There's no hormone therapy or surgeries to fix that, and yet he has not lived feeling sorry for himself or expecting pity. That is a curse. What I have is merely a challenge.