Monday, October 25, 2010

Then-Now-Whoah! :P

The last few days have been so positive.  Friday, I switched from the pharmacy I chose for privacy over an hour away, to my local pharmacy.  The convenience is nice, but even more importantly it indicates my progress over the past year.  I got my first written prescription 15 months ago and the thought of trying the local pharmacy then barely crossed my mind.  I imagined having to go in completely in a male mode of dress, with prescriptions that could only mean one thing.  It was  easy to picture them being rude and I could imagine the rumors that would start.  It was unthinkable, and so I chose something more distant.

Even an hour and a half away there was the possibility that a pharmacist or tech could be from my home town.  For the first few months I was extremely nervous about going.  They were some of the few people in my part of the world who knew about my transition in those early days, and I felt self conscious.  Because of the distance it was usually necessary to leave straight from work, and I would get made up and change in my car so that I could present myself with s bit more confidence.  Still it was stressful back then.  On days that I didn't have time to change clothes and put on makeup I felt miserable going there looking male.

Now everything is so different.  I can leave on my lunch break, drive 3 minutes to the local pharmacy, and walk right in.  I wasn't at all nervous the first visit and the idea that word could get out didn't  bother me at all.  I'm ready for people to know.  My work presentation and physical transition has evolved enough that I felt completely confident wearing my work clothes, which are mostly gender appropriate (except the shoes LOL!)  It is just hard to believe that a year ago I was sneaking away to a place an hour away and finding deserted parking lots to do my makeup on.  Everyone was nice to me as well.

It's a simple change, but I think it indicates how much more comfortable I'm becoming with myself, my home town and the people around me.  Sunday I went to the lake with my parents.  Mom didn't suggest that I wear a coverup over the V neck thermal I chose. Today one of my calls got disconnected and the caller was routed to Kim when she called back.  When Kim handed the phone off to me she told the caller "Here they are, I'll put them on."  Rather than he and him.  

Shortly after the call, I was still in Kim's office  and a student came in looking for me.  She asked Kim if she could "speak to Miss Shannon."  Lots of students are smiling and greeting me now too, even some of the guys! 

I think it's all coming together and I can't remember the last time I felt this hopeful about my future here.  :)


Lisa Maria said...

Great news.
It is amazing how confidence suddenly grows to the point that you just do things and dont worry.

Jerica Truax said...

Well Miss Shannon, congratz =) It is fun to look back and see how different things used to be and how much better they are now sometimes =)

Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm so happy for you. I figured it would go well enough, but don't forget they're still going to be some speed bumps out there. Just run them over and forget'em.

You give me hope dear!

Teagan said...

It's so wonderful to be comfortable with one's self. Makes life so much easier. Congratulations on all your progress!! Amazing what can happen in a year.