A momentous July

I wrote a bit ago, while on vacation.  Maybe some of you read it before I deleted it, but in the end I decided it was just to long, and a little over dramatic. :P

So now I'm back to cover vacation and the time since really quickly.

First the vacation.  We drove to main with a truck and fifth wheel trailer to stay 6 nights by the ocean.  3 days driving each way, with 4 adults and a macaw inside a quad cab pickup sounds pretty hectic probably -  especially considering all the friction of a liberal semi-closeted pre-operative transexual traveling with conservatives.  Really things were mostly smooth though.

I had a minor break down finally from the tension on the day of arrival, and locked myself in the RV's master bedroom for a lot of the day.  Dad and I conversed by text and I got over a bit of the tension.  Dad said in that end, to just present however I felt the need to for now and not worry about the awkwardness, that everyone could handle it basically.  

Dad also said that though he doesn't understand my gender issues, that he does appreciate my love of adventure and the outdoors, photography, hiking and such, and that he hoped we could focus on the things we agree on.  We did manage to have a great time too!

Social interaction was interesting, outside my travel party.  It was the most masculine I had presented for a while.  All men's clothes from head to toe, though I don't layer shirts anymore.  Its just too hot!  Also, no makeup and very fluffy hair from the humidity.  

Still, it seems most days, people readily accepted me as female in stores and such.  At our first campground, the camp store worker called me a she in front of Mom and Dad.  That was the last time it ever happened in front of Mom and Dad, but I was ma'amed and addressed with correct pronouns frequently on the trip.  While occasionally I would meet someone who seemed uncertain of my gender who would avoid pronouns and titles all together, just as often people got it right despite the clothes.  In the entire 12 days I was never addressed as he or sir.

Since my return, things have been stressful.  Lots of work to do before summer ends, and very little time remaining to get things ready.  Plus we have went from four 17-24 year old male summer workers, to nine.  Of the original four, at least two seemed not to like me very much, and I've really hated having to deal with that all the time.  With the additional 5, its even worse.

Last Friday has a couple of examples of how awkward it has become. In the morning, I went to help one of the older, more professional acting workers.  We ended up at the same desk within a few feet of each other to look at a computer that needed redone, and suddenly he was getting all shaky and jittery.  I think if it had been an option, he would have ran away.  Its really hard to feel normal when people are that frightened of you.

Later the same day, the other tech, all the summer help and I were going to go to lunch in the next town over.  I was working in a different building for a while and returned to find everyone had already left.  When he came back after lunch the other tech told me he sent one of the workers to tell me they were leaving, and that he claimed to have done so.  So it seems he actually lied just to keep me out of the lunch gathering.

Last Monday I had another round of laser on my face.  I'm recovering well and I think it will prove effective.  As for now, the shedding hair is extra prominent, adding to my insecurities at work.  By the end of the week it should be getting better though.  I'm happy and doing well right now, though, just a little uneasy about my job situation.  All temporary though. :)