The First Injection

This morning I took my first estradial valerate injection. It turned out to be quite a mission though! It took a little research to figure out how to open the bottle, how to fill a syringe, how to administer an injection, and how to locate the right injection site. After all that, plus a lot of trouble getting the syringe to draw the medication out of the vial, I was finally standing with the needle hovering above my skin.

I was never really sure I would be able to do it. I've thought about it, and up until today, I could not imagine pushing a 1 and a half inch needle into my skin. And if it were for any other reason, I still doubt I could have. But for transition, I will do what it takes. The needle went in with very little pain and now, assuming I did everything correctly, I have 2 weeks worth of estrogen slowly being time released over the next 2 weeks. And I think the next injection will go much more smoothly.

The whole procedure had such a sinister feel to it. I really dislike needles. Pills seem so benign. A syringe full of liquid just seems so much more serious, so scary. I guess maybe if I had taken the time to go up and learn this process from a reassuring clinic nurse instead of figuring it out by looking online, it would have seemed less daunting.

I have so many questions too. The dosage particularly concerns me. Up until now, I have been taking three 2 mg estradiol tablets sublingually every day. Now, instead, I have 10 mg of estradiol every two weeks. Thats so much less. Of course this is a much more efficient delivery system than sublingual. But is it enough efficiency to make up the difference?

Really after a day to think about it the needle feels less threatening. This is the most efficient medication to take. My doctor recommended it. There's practically no pain either. And before I had to have 15 minutes that I couldn't talk waiting for the sublingual pills to dissolve. Now instead I just need one injection every two weeks.

In a way I miss the pills though. Taking them three times a day, there was always an assurance that they were in my system doing what they need to be doing. With the injections, I just have to trust that its doing what it is supposed to be doing. Guess change is hard, especially when its something important to you. I'm trying not to worry, but its hard not to imagine waking up two weeks from now with signs that testosterone is taking back over. its a very troubling thought.

Maximum Randomosity

Hi! Just random things going on today. My spironolactone prescription arrived in the mail! So tomorrow, I get to pick up everything and switch to estrogen injections instead of my very unreliable sublingual delivery method. Maybe transition will get faster! :P

In other new, I had the most awesome Halloween costume idea in the world today. I'm not telling what it is yet, but if things come out okay expect photos in a few months. For now I will say it involves some fairly complex sewing, some neat fabrics, and will be pretty wild. I'll probably order my materials soon. Exciting!

Also, after two more weeks, I'm going on a family vacation to the Yellowstone National Park area. Hours in a crowded truck, and a temporary living arrangement that's really going to cut into my privacy. But quality time with Mom, Dad, one of my nicer uncles, and perhaps other relatives. Should be nice!

And I finally found a combination of appliances, shampoos, oil and heat protectants that get me the glossy smooth hair I have always wanted. Always been frustrated that my stylist can make it happen, but once I get home it explodes into frizz! But now I finally figured it out. But on the downside, it seems I still may be loosing hair despite spiro, fincar, and estrofem. I'm not sure but maybe. Last year it would have depressed me to no end. But I'm learning to feel thankful for the blessings I do have and take things as they come.

Missing my support groups and friends all desperately. I'm happy, but a little lonely. Spending some time around the house to ease Mom and Dad into things definitely has its drawbacks. But I'm spending less money and catching my breath from the fast paced changes in my life. And I do enjoy time around my family.

I'll try to post something deeper and more meaningful soon!

Suspenseful Days

For ages, I have waited for the day, when I am officially viewed as transitioning. I dreamed of a time when instead of sending away for medication from shady international pharmacies, I could walk into a real life brick and mortar pharmacy with my head held high. This week, I finally began to live that dream. But it was not the brief moment I expected it to be. Instead, it has dragged out into days of waiting and driving.

I am not complaining though! I got all dressed up for my first visit, and the CVS staff was very friendly and nice to me. Today I found out that my estrodial veralate is finally arriving tomorrow. The the only prescription left unfilled is my spirolactone prescription, because the doctor failed to include it when sending the progesterone and eestrodial prescriptions. Still the pharmacy has ordered everything, and when I receive my spiro prescription early next week I can go by and pick up everything I need to start my newly prescriped hormone replacement and feminization regimen!

The progesterone, I picked up yesterday. While I was in London, I again decided to get out in town en femme. The Wal-Mart greeter greeted me as ma'am without the slightest hesitation. I ate at a crowded Ruby Tuesday's and none of the patrons stared or laughed. The whole evening went very smoothly. I got to feel like just a normal girl about town. It was such a pleasant change of pace for me, as my home town feels more and more stifling.

Still, even in my home town things are going better. The kids are out of school, so no one is teasing me in the halls as I do my work. Most of my co-workeres ahve adopted to my current state and treat me well. The superintendent himself trusted me with the task of connecting his blackberry to our exchange server today!

Things are going smoothly. =)